its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
