I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize