The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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