Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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