She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
