Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
