best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
