went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
