oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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