I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
