Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
