actually, I'm a sock model
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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