She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
