i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
