Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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