I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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