Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
