he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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