i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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