since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
