You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
