He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
