She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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