i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
