ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize