Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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