just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
