I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
