she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
