We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
