i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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