I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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