we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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