Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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