i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
