He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
