When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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