its not stalking. its research.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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