They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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