if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
