Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
