WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
