There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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