I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize