finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
