i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
