I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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