blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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