sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
