He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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