She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
