It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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