There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
