It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
did you just send me my own nude
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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