Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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