someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize