I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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