at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
