Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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