If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
