yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
