mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
