The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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