I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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