I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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