STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize