They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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