Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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