wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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