You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
